2011 Brings confusion, disappointment, emotional turmoil.
My first appointment since the gait issues began was in February, 2011 at a pain clinic in Omaha, NE. It consisted of sorting through the symptoms and trying to find a better way to manage the uncontrollable pain. The doctor's assistant was very concerned with the gait issues, and recommended that I see a neurologist.
In March, 2011, I saw another neurologist in Omaha. The visit consisted of a checkup, nerve conduction study, and EMG studies, which found nothing unusual. This doctor suggested the gait dysfunction was from an emotional standpoint. It was explained as being 'in my head'.
This lead to a steady stream of doctor visits, to no avail. Each doctor looked at the test results from the previous doctors and found nothing of signifigance. I traveled from Omaha, NE to Iowa City, IA and north to Rochester, MN. They all confirmed the Fibromyalgia diagnosis, and searched for little more. I took classes, continued Physical Therapy three times a week, and pushed myself past the point of exhaustion and pain as I continued to work 40 hours per week with no improvement. At this point, it was impossible to keep up socially or with any work on the home front. I had to earn a paycheck to pay for the never ending doctors visits, tests, and appointments. Each doctor concluded that I should be able to heal and improve with their recommendations. They often didn't hold back on telling me it had to be a psychological problem, even though I'd seen a psychiatrist and proved that theory incorrect. I often wondered if they believed I just wasn't doing the work or listening to their judgements. They couldn't have been more wrong, if that was the case. I did everything I could to get better, and then some, but none of their suggestions helped in the long term. My physical ailments progressively grew worse, despite my futile attempts to get better.
Meanwhile, it became more difficult for my body to keep up with my busy schedule. The pain increased to a level of ten (or more) every day. My muscles tightened from pushing through physical therapy, and would never relax. They were 'on' at all times, and cramping like never before. I took tramadol during the day, and flexeril at night, but the pain persisted. It seemed I couldn't heal from the work I did to 'fix' things, and I couldn't sleep enough for healing to take effect. I finally gave up cooking in the evenings and replaced our meals with frozen heat and eat foods. Showering was difficult, and I was considering investing in a shower chair. My husband had to help me in and out of the tub, a few times, not to mention I no longer wore button up shirts. Basic, everyday living that people without physical limitations never had to think about were becoming nightmares- things I was forced to find a way to accomplish. How could this possibly be merely Fibromyalgia, and something that I should be able to work harder at to fix? Throughout this ordeal, my gut continued to tell me they were all wrong. Where could I go from here?
